Death and Strawberry

Holding On (Gem Okay)
03-01-09 6:03AM

again you leave the road we tripped
chasing after is what we had
down in circle is where we fell
we are closer
but you greet all your worries and lies
a barricade made of ice

all we are is like a carousel that is crashing down
and all we are is like a parallel line
but i should hold on
and forget about the love that you deny
or be lost forever
hold on
dont let go of this
no hate will bring ourselves
back to where we started

holy star, shine on me
put your light together and glow
now as we walk this trail
we hardly see
please guide us
coz we’re walking in this empty road
please guide us
whoa

all we are is like a carousel that is crashing down
all we are is like a heart impaired
but i should

“listen closely to the beat, as your feet move forward and get closer around me..”

most of us love porn for entertainment purposes… but only the act of sexual intercourse is what interests us the most..  what we do not know is that behind these films lies the truth about pornography..

Some of pornography’s lies:
Porn doesn’t hurt anyone. But the statistics are clear. According to comScore Media Metrix, 71.9 million people visited adult sites in August 2005, reaching 42.7 percent of the Internet audience. At $12 billion a year, the revenues of the porn industry in the U.S. are bigger than the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball combined. Worldwide porn sales are reported to be $57 billion.

To put this in perspective, Microsoft sells the operating system used on most of the computers in the world (in addition to other software) and reported sales of $36.8 billion in 2004.

Pornography is not only highly addictive material but also promotes lies about women. “Porn, exploits and devalues women. Porn converts women into objects rather then people with feelings and opinions of their own. Even soft-core pornography portrays women as sex objects who exist only to give sexual satisfaction to men. They are “pets” or “playmates” valued only from the neck down. Many porn addicts now admit they find it hard not to view women as chunks of meat because of viewing pornography.” says ex-porn star Shelly Lubban who is a missionary to the sex industry, fighter for truth and advocate for sex workers and porn performers who are abused by the adult industry.

Another lie the porn industry wants us to believe is that porn actresses love sex. They want you to think women enjoy being degraded by all kinds of repulsive acts.

Many believe the widespread fairytale that women enjoy making porn movies but in reality there are no happy endings for the women of porn. Women do NOT enjoy making porn movies and a closer behind-the-scenes look will show you several reasons why.

In the world of hardcore sex, an average day on the set for a porn actress is a long and tedious process. Women are told to come in around 8 am for makeup but it’s only to make sure porn actresses arrive on time to work. Porn stars have a habit of arriving late because they’re often hung over from drugs or alcohol from the night before.

After make up, porn actresses usually wait around long hours until it’s their turn to do their scene. Some scenes take an hour and some take several hours to film. It really depends if the male actor in the first scene could “perform” or not. It also depends if female actresses have to stop the clock because they can’t handle the pain of a hardcore sex scene.

While waiting around, jaded porn performers usually end up in the rest rooms with bottles of alcohol and lines of speed or outside in their cars for a heroin fix or gathered in the back yard with other actors to smoke marijuana.

To add to the mind-numbing process, women are never able to experience sexual pleasure because of the continuous cutting during sex scenes. In the background the director constantly yells, “cut” and the flow of action is interrupted in order to get a better shot, adjust lighting or to wipe up bodily fluids. Repeatedly pornographers stop the scenes and ask actors to “freeze” in position during very hardcore sex acts, which causes great physical and emotional pain for porn actresses.

Despite the fact that women do not enjoy making porn movies, they continue to lie to their fans and proudly insist they enjoy making porn movies. Of course they do. They get paid hundreds and thousands of dollars to lie because this is their occupation. Porn stars are paid professional liars who know how to “act” and they do it well. In fact, because porn stars spend a great deal of time in front of the camera and never step out of character, they usually have greater acting abilities than mainstream Hollywood actors.

Shelly used to brag endlessly to fans and pornographers about her extreme “Italian” sex drive and how she loved making porn movies. she would go on and on about how she needed more and more to fulfill her insatiable appetite. she said she lied 100% of the time to 100% of the people. Lying is the native language of porn stars because they can’t afford to tell you the truth. Not only would it ruin the fantasy for their fans but more importantly, it would ruin the amount of their paychecks. Don’t believe porn actresses when they proudly proclaim they enjoy making porn movies. They’re ACTING.

Furthermore, most porn actresses admit they’ve experienced childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse and neglect by parents which ultimately led them to the porn industry where they were exploited and suffered even worse abuse.

reference:
http://www.shelleylubben.com/index.php?truth=bio

hey guys. the LCC college week was a blast! it was indeed the best gig that
we had so we wanna extend our deepest thanks and appreciation to the
LCC student council (specially to Karen Breta) for inviting us and giving the coolest accomodation, the nice ladies who approached us for some pictures (eventhough we are still a nobody in the music scene), the crowd for being there with us… and to all those
who took part in the event. thank you all..!!

Another Lonely Memory (leo lonesome)
15:13 02/09/2005

I’m living in these dreams, which shows how sad it is in reality. I gave up all my hopes, cos there’s nothing to give-in from the start. This silent words will whisper how you never value these feelings. So when you call, i don’t think i could answer you.

So when you send me a letter i won’t be willing to write back. I have to stay away or the hurting will be never ending. I don’t  have to say a word or these lies will be never ending. Hearing your voice hurts me. A glance at your face makes my tears fall
what am i here from the start? when you’ll never be here in the end.

With these thoughts in my mind. I’m not the only one who’s left out but i know, that i’m on my own now. For now, this is goodbye. Another lonely memory is passing me by..

P.S.
i am waiting for you, please save me from loneliness..please take me away from here.

Philophobic (leo lonesome/ja latuja)
08:37pm 07/13/05

the scent of this air reminds me
of everything that happened between us
and how you said you feel nothing
about what’s recently happening

when i get a glimpse of you
its so hard for me to hide the truth
within my heart that moves me
its always you my euphoria

can we get all along
ive been dying to be near you
(prove to me you love me, show me that you care)
should i give it all
or leave a piece for me to
(im running out of hope and i feel so empty)
save my pride and all
the possibility
(prove to me you love me, show me that you care)
i had enough of this
(i had enough of this)

so please stop telling me that line of yours
it never really happened
it wasnt what you really feel
so please stop telling me those line of yours
it never really happened
it only makes you a liar

when i get a glimpse of you
its so hard for me to hide the truth
within my heart that moves me
its always you my euphoria

can we get all along
ive been dying to be near you
(prove to me you love me, show me that you care)
should i give it all
or leave a piece for me to
(im running out of hope and i feel so empty)
save my pride and all
the possibility
(prove to me you love me, show me that you care)
i had enough of this
(i had enough of this)

ive tried so hard to make you mine
but your hearts always missing
the fire i need or even just a flame
no i cant stay in my dismay
and pain of torturing myself
(and i must never love you again)
i stay away to break my fall
still you dont seem to care at all
(and i wont care for you at all)

Shakehands with Grenade (leo lonesome)
09:35pm 07/27/05

Countless nights crying myself to sleep. I’m thinking of every words that you said. Recalling things to my head, I’m too late to realize that all that I’m holding to was you. I reached for your hand but you never reached me back. I’m erasing all the memories that we had, forcing myself to forget everything. Those promises and words you’ve made, now they are all beginning to fade.

P.S.
Don’t ask for me to stay with you when all you ever do is go,
and take me for granted.

Seven and Thirteen (Gem Okay)

    
I’m floating up again, like a star in heaven watching over you. A
glance at your hands, like a fire that melts my innermost self through.
If I fall would you fly and catch me? If I fall would you fly and
spread those wings of yours? I have seen a greater passion deep within
this world goes upside down - turns around. spins around. catch me.
Hold on tight my dear. Let us soar on clouds and ask them where they
go. A warm touch of those hands, like a fire that melts my innermost
self through.

"Every corner of that face reflects a greater side
of such a beautiful creation heaven had let me owned and seen.
Wonderful things are meant for those who deserve it. But I’m too lucky
to have you even if I’m not one of them. please be there when I’m
surrounded by mistakes brought by ignorance. Please grab me as I fall
down on your feet. Please be there always. Please be there and don’t
let… go." -Gem Okay ‘05-’06

catch me..

hold me..

grab me..

if i fall again.